It's Just Another Day in Paradise
By Greg Stewart
Okay, I am sitting here working on the computer, doing homework, listening to music, emailing, and reading the textbook from my astronomy class, yes--I am a multi-tasker, when I realize that it was three in the morning and I had not slept for at least for twenty-four hours. So, this is not an earth shattering discovery, or discovery the universe is 14 billion years old, or that Kenny keeps getting killed on South Park, or that the sky is blue, or water is wet, but it has been a trend lately, reflecting my insomnia and that every time put my head to pillow the brain will not shut off. So I have a few questions, is it possible to grow brain cells after your dead? Why did Johnny Cash always wear black? Where did General O'Neill disappear to on SG-1? And, who is the idiot who thought up the concept of work, anyway?
Oh, I don't mind working, its part of my addictive personality. I am here to confess, I am a workaholic. The only time, I fear, I will relax is when I die, but I pray, (Yes, agnostics pray! were just not sure which religious entity will receive the message--so we pray to them all; like sending a universal email, if you will allow). Anyway, I pray that if I go, it is in the arms of fiery dynamo, with long legs wrapped around me, and of starry emerald eyes encompassing my soul and passion at my moment of embarkation….
However, the question remains when that time comes: which voice will I hear, male or female, or will the universe be a cruel mother and reveal no voice at all? My hope is that it will be female. Why? Because, it’s the perfect payback, and the fact that Alanis Morrisett is the actual voice of God (reference Dogma) and it will teach certain fundamentalists a lesson. Also, the hope is that she will grant my wish of a certain number of concubines (I just want 36 not 40) so that I know all the emotions of life, love, lust, empathy, fear, joy, passion, compassion, and much more….
The other thoughts that I have: Why are tatter-tots called tatter-tots? Why is the answer to the universe, to life, and everything 42? Is that when women reach their sexual penultimate peak? Or is it the number of times one is reincarnated to reach nirvana? I also want to know, whose bright idea to decide what black look like, or white for that matter? Additionally, does anyone know why the sky is blue, while water is considered wet?
Furthermore, I want to know are women breasts, the pair of them, are the exactly they same size? And, why do men have nipples, anyway? Did we actually nurse at one time? Or was it mother nature way of giving women a method to torture us and pleasure us, men that is, at the same time?! I let you more restrained folks think about that one. Oh yeah, baby, think about it indeed….
And speaking of babies, are they not amazing?! No, this does not mean, I am ready to settle down, or have one. I recently saw a friend's kid, the child was ooh soo cute, but had the deepest soulful brown eyes I have ever seen, that one’s heart could not help but melt; one could see the observable universe within them. I guess it made me wonder about the wonders of life, universe, and everything. It also made me appreciate with all the turmoil in the world, hate, violence, bigotry, and that we will be okay. And so it goes, it just being another day in paradise that life will go on, no matter how much we get in our own way...
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